My Poor Neglected Blog!

Okay, so I know I haven't been really good at keeping up with this, but I have learned SO much from this class!

So. we talked about theories and boundaries. This was a really interesting discussion. I was familiar with most of the theories from having taken several sociology classes. However, to hear these theories discussed in relation to families was incredibly beneficial. We learned about 4 different theories which are:

Systems Theory: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Boundaries- there are the open, closed, and random family structures.

Exchange Theory: If we don’t feel like the relationship is balanced then we will start to disconnect

Conflict Theory: With two capable people, there will be a sort of contest for how things will be done

Symbolic Integration: Influenced through our experiences. We are constantly communicating with people through our symbols and our words.

These theories are just a few ways of looking at families. Every therapist, or person studying families has certain theories that they tend to gravitate to and I think I really like Systems Theory. I like this because every member of the family has a role that helps to contribute to the family, not to mention the fact that it talks about boundaries and what appropriate boundaries for a family are.

Speaking of boundaries there are three types of boundaries:

Rigid _________ Diffuse . . . . .  Normal _ _ _ _ _ 

An ideal family boundary basically means that the father and mother are separate from the children, but still reachable, or available to children. There are good reasons for these boundaries and they need to be respected. Once you get married your focus should not still be on your family, although that relationship is still important. The focus should shift to your husband and strengthening your bond to him. When I heard the story in class about the girl who keeps talking to her family for hours each day, and gets mad at her husband for not being understanding it was all I could do to not roll my eyes. I know that I have a strong attachment to my mother, but when I get married I know that, as important as she is, my husband should be more important. So, I hope when I get married I can respect these boundaries and make good boundaries for myself and my children.