We learned about different phases in relationships.
Dating- a variety of planned, intentional opportunities to get to know one another, developing/testing skills, variety of activities with a variety of activities.
Courtship- an exclusive
relationship seeing if someone is a good fit for you
Engagement
Marriage
There should be clear
boundaries and obvious changes in each phase of a relationship.
This part was my favorite!!!! We learned about the relationship/attachment model, and it just made so much sense to me! I cannot even explain how much I love this model, because it made my life make sense! Haha
Relationship/attachment
model (differs by degrees)
Know, trust,
reliance, commitment, touch
You should never trust someone any more than you know
them
You shouldn't rely
one someone more than you trust them
You shouldn't commit
to someone you can't rely on
And you shouldn't touch
somebody you're not committed to
(the degree and
frequency with which you have physical contact with someone can make you feel
more or less attached to them)
We talked about the 4 types of love:
Eros- physical love,
passionate love, romantic feelings (usually acquainted with), lust, (have to be
around them all the time) driven by emotion, sexual
Agape- love
independent of one's feelings for another
Storge- parent-child
love, transcends everything, deep-abiding love, hurts you to see them hurt
Philia- friendship,
brotherly love
Another thing I found particularly helpful was talking about misattribution of
arousal- attributing feelings of physical attraction to feelings of love, when
it's just physical attraction (I can't tell you how many times I've done this)
How do we protect
ourselves from falling into traps/tripping into loves or relationships that
aren't wise/tripping too quickly?
Increase our
knowledge
Past experience
Decision making
process: weigh pros cons, decide rationally, think things through, analyze, be
intentional
If you're not sure
ask someone who knows (parents/friends/outsiders can see other facets we don't
see)
Set rules/goals and
follow them
I learned I need to be better about following all of these and making sure to discern what's real and what's not. I need to make more logical decisions and less dealing with emotion.
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